Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
