I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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