My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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