I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
