just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
