physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
