just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
