Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You are the jesus of drinking
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
he just fucked me for my cheese.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
