my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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