P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
