and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I could fuck to npr.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
