He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
