david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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