The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
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So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
How's work?
Spinning.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
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The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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