Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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