Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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