First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
