Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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