If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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