I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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