Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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