dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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