I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
