Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
