So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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