ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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