I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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