Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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