Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
