I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
