I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
