Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize