I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
wow bdsm is so cute
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