We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize