hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Randomize