He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
