When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
