Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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