You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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