You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
