I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
