Got a toothbrush?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
