Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
