I need help removing her.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
