super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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