i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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