I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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