I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
