So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
