So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
