My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
