i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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