i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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