he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
