She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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