I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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